How were you prepared to face your world ? If a child is not prepared to face his or her world, immobilizing fears, and phobias are more likely to occur. Racial socialization for an African American child includes receiving a healthy black social identity. The transference of knowledge from childhood into adulthood is necessary for healthy development to occur. (Anglin & Wade, 2007).

Social identity is a person’s sense of who they are based on their group membership(s).

When we see the picture above, almost immediately beauty and style comes to mind. No doubt! But who is she on the inside? Has she been prepared to face the world emotionally?

A dear friend of mine could not get the confusion/chaos out of her space because she had a love/hate relationship with truth. She would get far too upset during self discovery and instead of finding joy in awareness, she would feel sadness as it relates to her tendencies. Her strategy for dealing with these moments was to go into some form of depression, denial, and/or blame when confronted or reminded by the ghost of her past. At that time she could not reconcile the reality that she was taking her cues from 2 scripts (God-ordained and Learned-disorder). It took some work but she is no longer afraid of herself. Today she has embraced living in the truth and has learned to no longer resist the voice of her ghostly past or the voice of her guardian angel. She no longer sees her symptoms as a threat to who she is becoming, and can therefore allow symptoms and triggers to serve as a light leading to the root.

The Root … provides us with everything we need to prosper.

  1. Rom 11:16-17 … And if the first piece of dough be holy, the lump is also; and if the root be holy, the branches are too. NASB
  2. Rom 11:18 … remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you. NASB

Why aren't family relations reaching the peak and prosperity that is possible? Emotional Disturbances.

Excerpt from one of my school papers written in Oct 2010 on Psychological Disorders

“The definition of an anxiety disorder is subject to interpretations that are rooted in value judgments that vary across cultures” (Shiraev & Levy, 2010, p. 230). Characteristics of anxiety include fear, dread, physiological stimulation, and other emotional disturbances. Anxiety disorders have subcategories such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder has characteristics of nervousness. Panic Disorder has characteristics of intense terror, when no danger exists. Phobias have characteristics of irrational fears. Obsessive compulsive disorder has characteristics relating to unwanted thoughts and other ritualistic compulsions (Hansell & Damour, 2008). Contributions to anxiety disorders include biological, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive contributions

There's No Way Around It. Human development is viewed as the changes in physical, psychological and social behavior that are experienced from conception to death. Do you know you have a WAY when it comes to giving and receiving love? Human development and socialization are affected by culture. One’s culture can influences his or her quality of life by conceptualizing the type of fear and phobias he or she manifests.

Have you ever heard the saying "the root of suffering is attachment." Perhaps you've heard about unhealthy relationship attachments in the words of Luke 14:25-27.

Luke 14:25-27 ... Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life — he cannot be my disciple [follower]. 27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Here's how another writer put it: Unrestrained senses and desire for sense objects due to attachment are the roots of all the suffering. One develops attachment to sense objects by thinking about sense objects. Desire for sense objects comes from attachment to sense objects, and anger comes from unfilled desires. Delusion arises from anger. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls from the right path when reasoning is destroyed and eventually leads to suffering.

What did our caregivers teach us? What did you see, what were the social nuances? Attachment theory states that a strong emotional and physical attachment to at least one primary caregiver is critical to personal development. Depending on the responses to your emotions from your caregivers you may have a relating style that is anxious, avoidant, or secure. The characteristics listed below are not meant to define or label as if this is who you are all the time. But it might help you recognize if anxiety is disrupting your chances at EXPERIENCING LOVE.

Here are some characteristics of anxious attachment style. Parent was inconsistent or intrusive

- compulsive care giving

- feel over involved and under appreciated

- rapid relationship break-ups

- perceives relationships as imbalanced

- idealizing others

- desire for extensive contact

- preoccupation with relationship

- extreme emotions

- heavy reliance on partner

- sensitive to rejection

- jealous

- possessive

- mood swings

- views self as unlovable

Characteristics of avoidant attachment style. Parent was unavailable or rejecting

- intense anger and loss

- hostile

- critical of others

- sensitive to blame

- lack of empathy

- avoidance of intimacy

- views others as untrustworthy

- views others as undependable

- passive withdrawal

- fear closeness in relationships

Characteristics of secure attachment style. Parent was aligned with the child and in-tune with their emotions.

- able to create meaningful relationships

- empathetic

- able to set appropriate boundaries.

Your thoughts